Saturday, December 26, 2015


Although the slaughterhouses moved out of Denver to Greeley in 1982, with the approval of the $2 billion 2C tax extension and adoption of the "Land Acquisition Ordinance" the livestock industry is once again poised to dominate north central Denver, this time with exhibition halls, equestrian centers, a horse hospital and stock pens that will double as an activity park. This 300 acre campus will mass around the new commuter rail station at 48th and Brighton Blvd, essentially forming its own "fiefdom" called the National Western Center between Elyria and Globeville.

Although the horse and buggy went out of vogue somewhere around 1904 apparently the city planners decided that not only did Denver voters need to fork over $2 billion to revitalize the industry, but "horse and cow central" needed to butt up to the RTD transit stop in case the horses needed to hop the light rail to Mineral Avenue.

Strangely, these same planners felt apartments, grocery stores and restaurants ought to be near the stops at Broadway Marketplace, Dartmouth, Evans, Belleview and so on, but apparently those types of arrangements have become too "pedestrian." What was needed in north Denver had to be more "equestrian." Consequently, although keeping a horse in the city limits is against the law, perhaps it's time to adjust the zoning ordinances for the north neighborhoods to accommodate the new lifestyle which will soon supplant the past 30 years of being in "limbo." It's time to make Globeville and Elyria "horse property."

How does one accomplish this in an urban environment? Well, for one thing, you've got to outlaw cars. Tear up the pavement for a nice clay surface. This can be done while they're tearing out I-70. Take out about 90% of the single family homes and build mid-rise housing, thus leaving enough open ground for fields of hay, watering troughs, and stables. Make sure all arrivals and departures are either by light rail or bicycle; once people are here they can tap into the "uber-horse-force" and simply swipe their credit card through the saddle horn and hop aboard.

For a very good reason the planners did not include any new schools. Children in these neighborhoods won't have to learn factoring and spelling, they can become cowboys and of course, cowgirls. This new fusion of country in the city will produce steer wrestlers, bronc busters, calf ropers, barrel racers and the like, to compete in the huge new exhibition centers. For those who can't break into the big money purses, they can drive forklifts in the new "Crossroads Center" in Globeville, which is close enough to canter to. They won't have to own cars; they can either get on the light rail or fork a pony and point him up the nearest trail.

As to grocery stores, everyone knows horse manure is the perfect medium for growing all sorts of healthy vegetables, which can be done hydroponically inside your mid-rise buildings in the hallways and such, even the bedrooms. The marijuana growers have tons of technicians to help you get the LED lights just right and the mixture at the perfect fertilizer blend, and thus eliminate the middle man. Since the "governance" of this new district is still being arranged by secret meetings at city hall, once everyone's agreed who's going to run things they can appoint building captains and stable boys and so on to keep it all running in tip top shape. In fact, it will be the most exciting place to live for quite a distance.


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